ISPP 2015

Career Opportunities in Pharmacy
“Therapie hat mich gerettet!” Julia Michaels & Mabel über Mental Health, Depressionen, Panikattacken

I think anxiety is a really scary thing like it’s scary and then I just started getting really anxious about everything like would have panic attacks and had really bad insomnia as a kid it made me feel like there was something wrong with me I was about five or six and I remember I started thinking about like it’s just so morbid but thinking about death and like I caught on to that word and I was like what does it mean and like and I needed an answer for everything when I was a kid and I didn’t like the fact that nobody could give me an answer and I was like but you’re all grown up so I was like what you guys are supposed to know everything I was like what’s what’s going on and I think that’s when it started and then I just started getting really anxious about everything like would have panic attacks and had really bad insomnia I noticed it around like 15 or 16 that was when I started really noticing about my depression and actually my dad was on it that noticed at first he was just like Julian I mean you should probably talk to somebody was like why he’s like you you don’t leave the house you’re like you’re sad all the time I was like oh yeah oh my god I am and and then shortly after that I started having really bad anxiety I stopped going to school and I was like 16 or 17 because I was just like it was too much and I I remember looking at other kids are being like oh my god that it just seems to be so easy and you have a boyfriend and you’re like going to all these parties and like why why is it so difficult really not being able to leave the house I would go into sessions and I just sit in the corner and just have like panic attacks in rooms with people that I had never even met which was really really intense and scary and I was through a good two years of my life just literally having panic attacks all the time and there was a moment where I had called my manager back over where I was like if I don’t change I can’t do this like if this is what the rest of my life is gonna look like I can’t do this anymore and she was actually the one that helped me find my my therapist and like it completely changed my life my social anxiety was was difficult I always thought like other kids like what they were thinking about me and like up until I was like a lot older I worried a lot about what other people thought about me which is exhausting because then you grow up and you realize actually everybody has good days everybody has bad days and actually if I just turn to another 14 year old when I was 14 and be like what do you ever feel like this sometimes I’m sure that they would have been like oh my god yeah but yeah I think it’s just like important to talk about and at home I definitely felt comfortable doing that it was more like around other kids that I was like I’m an alien I was like what’s wrong with me I used to have panic attacks all the time the thing that helped me the most is going to therapy and talking it out and and then writing about about my sort of like self-awareness within my mental health issues basically I did the rest of my schooling from home because I was just so stressed about what other people thought about me and then I think over the last couple of years it’s been a journey of just being like it doesn’t actually matter what other people think about me and that that was taking up like a lot of my brainpower and it’s exhausting it’s unnecessary I think anxiety is a really scary thing like it’s scary you feel really isolated you feel like you’re having like a heart attack you feel you can’t breathe really you know like all of these things and you’re you know you’re afraid to talk to someone because they’re not going to understand or they’re kind of just like you know brush it off it’s hard to talk about because of the stigma around it for years of that like you know because it’s not like a visible disability it’s not real and you can just get off and you can get over it and brush yourself off and like come on like just be stronger and be better and like it’s just something that’s like ingrained into us I know how isolating you know anxiety and depression and you know the way that you treat yourself can be and if I find it isolating then there’s got to be a ton of other people in the world I find it isolating I think that a lot of people when they have problems and they don’t talk to people I think that they’re scared that they’re burdening other people with their problems but if they’re real friends if they really truly care about you they will listen it’s not a burden the first part of my journey of being in the public eye was difficult because I hadn’t really found that confidence yet in my in my voice and just as a person so being an artist and sort of having people watching you when I guess you don’t really know who you are yourself is really can feel quite stressful I just think that we haven’t had the resources to talk about it and now with social media being so big and you know people you know what I think we’re like evolving into people that are like you know more willing to talk about it even more vulnerable even more open with their feelings you know we’re not a generation that that suppresses things and just sucks it up you know that’s just that’s not how we raised you know we’re taught to be in our feelings and feel them that was like this misconception for a long time that I guess like being a pop star being an artist you have to like put across this like glossy sexy everything’s perfect all the time kind of appearance and like over the last couple of years there’s been like a nice switch and that like ariana grande talks about and coming the Khepera talks about it and like you know like big artists just being like hey this is how I feel and like I’m human rather than trying to be that like angelic like godlike being I think it’s way more interesting to just be like I’m like you you’re like me like just people can relate to you then and that for me was like a massive weight off my shoulders not feeling like I had to be this like perfect thing and it’s not even like a relatable thing it’s more just like hey you know like I got this too like I’m doing with the every single day you know at the end of the day you know they’ve got you know 80 responsibilities every single day and they’re only one person and you know it’s all relative you know there’s somebody you know that works in this office that’s got 80 things to do every day and you know what they’re only one person not everyone’s got it all and put together we’re not all put together and I’ve learned that you don’t actually have to give people some like explanation it’s just enough to be like I feel like this today I don’t really want to talk about it or I do want to talk about it and want you here I don’t want you here like just like know what you’re feeling communicate that it doesn’t have to be some like long essay you don’t have to explain anything you can just tell people where you’re at yeah I found talking to myself has helped like like if I’m about to go on state or I’m about to do something you know it’s like why am i why do I feel like this like why do I feel oh I didn’t sleep I haven’t slept I should probably get some sleep oh you know what I haven’t eaten anything like good for me in a minute like maybe I should do that like oh I feel sad about this it’s probably because that one time when I was 16 this happened and that’s that and that’s not now and I’m different now I find that has helped me a lot too and I find that talking to people has really helped me to you know just having another opinion to just sort of like talk it out with my mom always was like it’s fine you just feel more it’s your superpower she would say like you’re just tuned in to like some other wavelengths that other people aren’t and she was like and that’s cool because you can turn that into something sick and I do really believe that now I always say to people I’m like being vulnerable doesn’t make you weak it makes you sick actually makes you stronger being able to cry being like all those things I’m like wow that’s amazing like even that anxiety like I think you know it’s kind of there for it for a reason sometimes and you just sort of have to feel it rather than like pushing it away right now I feel really good I haven’t had a panic attack in a long time which is so nice every once in a while I’ll start to feel a bit like overwhelmed and like a bit like jittery and stuff like that but I’ve I’ve become quite good at rationalizing with myself and sort of talking myself out of things I trying to think of myself as a role model because that’s just too much pressure I just do my best obviously I don’t have a responsibility with the platform that I have so I try and be as honest as I can be about the good stuff the bad stuff all the bits in between and and obviously know that I do have lots of young female followers and fans and so when I’m writing my songs I do think like how do I want to make them feel I just think of myself as like just a like a girl that like talks about her feelings a little bit too much and like doesn’t always think that she’s good enough and you know like has so many problems with like her body and her mind and like all of this but I can tell you that like there’s nothing more incredible than the day that you decide you’re gonna conquer your versus letting it conquer you like I used to be so afraid to go on stage I used to like run away from people I used to literally like find stair cases where I could just like hide from people they’d have to like look for me like all people trying to like figure out where I was and then there was a time when I saw this girl in the crowd right before I was about to perform and she looked at me and she goes you’ve got this she say every word with me that day and it made me feel so much less alone and ever since that day I can get on stage knowing that there’s gonna be at least one person in the crowd that’s gonna be singing with me and then I’m not alone and they’re not alone and then we got it together and now like I can I can like honestly say that I’ve been able to like conquer so many fears because of this you know so I highly recommend like doing the things that scare you because sometimes those things that scare you could be the most beautiful things

9 thoughts on ““Therapie hat mich gerettet!” Julia Michaels & Mabel über Mental Health, Depressionen, Panikattacken

  1. Ist irgendwie gut zuhören, dass diese Frauen, die immer so selbstbewusst scheinen auch mal eine schwere Phase durch machen mussten

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