ISPP 2015

Career Opportunities in Pharmacy
Medicine’s Dirty Secret | Physician Suicide

Three residents have passed away in the last
seven months at Loma Linda University Medical Center. A couple months back, we lost a second physician
to suicide. And I remember speaking with David Hendon,
he has a YouTube channel, really awesome stuff if you haven’t checked him out you definitely
should, and he and I were going to collaborate on making this documentary on physician suicide
to bring more awareness to this issue that we just don’t talk about enough. And honestly, I haven’t made any progress
on it at all whatsoever. Got pushed lower and lower on the list of
things to do. Recently, I read a post from one of the residents
I used to work with, Dr. Armando Davila at Loma Linda. He’s also a plastic surgery resident. And it got me thinking that, okay, maybe I’m
not going to start out by making a documentary, but I need to – I feel obligated to do something
or to say something about this because this is a huge issue, it’s affecting all of us
in the medical field and it doesn’t get the attention that it deserves. I’m going to have his post down in the description
because he said this so eloquently and so beautifully. First of all, these deaths have been shrouded
in secrecy and that’s just standard for the medical profession. We generally get an email saying that, “We’re
very sorry to have lost someone.”, and then we don’t really get much clarity. There’s just a lot of these rumors floating
around and the overall outcome is just the same where… silence. We don’t give this issue the attention it
deserves. And the sad thing is, it’s not terribly unreasonable
to imagine that this is a common thing, especially now that I’ve been in it. Before I started medical school or even at
the beginning of medical school, I had heard how, you know, medical student and physician
suicide was this issue and I didn’t understand it. But even in medical school, we lost one of
our classmates and now, you know, having experienced residency, it’s becoming a lot clearer to
me. Now physicians choose to go into this specialty
for a variety of reasons, some of them altruistic some not so much. But regardless, we all go down this path and
it is grueling and often times incomprehensible. Only those who have lived it can really understand
it. You know, we can explain to our loved ones,
we can make videos or write posts and try to explain to the general public what it means,
why is this so tough, why is it – why do we often complain about it so much. But it’s hard to really grasp it and truly
understand it until you’re in it. Until you put that white coat on. But it doesn’t have to be this way. There have been so many movements the last
several years, we have Black Lives Matter, Trevor Project, Me Too. Those issues aren’t necessarily exactly comparable
but the same themes holds true. So, we all know that residency training is
brutal, that it’s not healthy and yet we’re told – we’re told that this is just the way
it is. That in the long run, this is going to make
you a stronger and better physician. The older physicians, the older surgeons will
say how things were so terrible back in the day and they were working – they didn’t have
the 80 hour work week restriction. “We were working way harder. Things were way worse. You guys should be happy. You should be thankful that things are the
way they are now.” And then remind us of this thing that just
totally hit at home… What would happen if you said the same thing
to women? And said, “Hey, be happy you can vote now. You can hold a job now. You’re not reated like property by a man now. Be happy, things are so much better.” How outrageous is that? We’ve come such a long way, that should be
enough, right? Obviously, it’s not enough, people are dying. At our schools, at our programs, physicians
are dying. If you’re in the medical profession right
now, I would bet that you probably know someone either in med school or residency that is
now gone. And the sad thing is that when we do lose
them, we don’t properly mourn them, we don’t honor them, we don’t – We hide them, we erase
them from the hospital. We blame the program, “Oh, the program must
have caused that, not in my program… my program is better than that”. And secretly we tell ourselves that, “They
were just weaker and we’re stronger. We wouldn’t do that.” And all the while we stay quiet. Remember, silence is a choice. Silence is an action. We’re told that we can talk to our seniors,
our attendings, our program directors, the GME office, that’s not true. The best residents aren’t those that make
waves or stir things up. They just maintain the status quo. And all the while, they sacrifice their entire
life to this profession; their family, their friends, their relationships, their support,
everything that makes them human just that they can try to save someone else’s life. How can we take care of someone else, if we
can’t even take care of ourselves? The culture is such that it is so difficult
to be vocal about anything in the medical profession, especially something like this. We’re afraid of what the repercussions may
be. How would this affect our chances to get into
medical school or residency or fellowship? We can’t even think about what’s proper, what’s
right for the common good because we’re so caught up in the system and this makes us
feel alone. And then this loneliness turns into resentment,
into spite, into anger and then we just turn against the people that we’re working with. We don’t treat them the way we would want
to be treated and we just – we perpetuate – the cycle just continues. We just feed into it. We become the exact thing that we didn’t want
to be in the first place. You know, we all talk about how medical training
is so broken. Residency, med school, it’s toxic, it’s not
healthy, it’s unsustainable, it’s ironic, we’re promoting health and yet not taking
care of ourselves, all these things and we complain. But we don’t really do anything about it. I was even trying to do a documentary and
I copped out. I didn’t even start that. I don’t have a solution. I don’t know what all the answers are or how
to fix it but I do know that the way to start, is by having a conversation, by having a discussion,
getting it out there, speaking about it. Let’s have a dialogue. Let’s throw in our different opinions and
see what we can do about the issue. Look, I’m grateful that things are better
now and it’s not as bad as it was. But we’ve still got a long way to go. Let’s end physician silence. I know it sounds crazy, one guy on a YouTube
channel making this video. But you know what? I’m making this video because someone had
the balls to write a post about it and that inspired me. And maybe by me making this video, I hope
that you’ll also get vocal about it. You don’t even have to be in med school or
a resident to do anything about it. If you know of someone or if you just don’t
stand for it, do something about it. Have those difficult conversations, get vocal
about it, let’s get it out in the open. Fellow YouTubers, I’m looking at you as well,
I hope that you guys join me on this, let’s end physician silence. I know it sounds crazy but let’s do some crazy
shit together. I don’t know if this is going to work but
at least I’m trying. If you’re not happy with it, you can do something
as well. We don’t have to stand for this, let’s stop
physician silence. [Music]

100 thoughts on “Medicine’s Dirty Secret | Physician Suicide

  1. When you see your physician and/or ER Doc, demand to know how much sleep they have had BEFORE you allow them to care for you. If everyone does this, you will be protecting yourself and the staff while at the same time bringing awareness, you have a right to be treated by someone who is mentally alert and rested. Safety comes first for all.

  2. Thank you so much for making this video and speaking up about such a disturbing issue. But even suicide alone is like this “cancer” becoming a cold hard reality to deal with. No-one likes it and anything to do with death is far too beyond overwhelming and shock to deal with in human nature. Losing a life shouldn’t be taken upon lightly. Make sure people are talking to someone or if not at least channeling that negative or life of thought into something creative or sports. I tend to find it’s the people who seem like they are ok, but really in reality they’re not. I think the disrespectful Paul Logan japanese suicide forest video really slammed the media and made a shook youtube community. But I think a method of tackling with the suicide issue alone, is check up on your buddies and really lookout for each other. I’m quite isolated with not a lot of friends and there have times I have thought about it too myself. But I confided in people and turned to gym to get healthier and better and also my job is quite creative which helps and is a reminder everyday why I wanted to be who I wanted to be.
    I guess what I’m trying to say is don’t close yourself out to the world and the people in your lives. No-one is alone in all of this, even tho sometimes it might feel that way.
    Thank you Dr.J for sharing and starting a movement. It should be to end all suicide, however I have heard from other medical friends it was pretty bad. It shouldn’t have to be so many grueling hours. Lack of sleep and deprivation also doesn’t help make good decisions in that state of mind. More power to everyone. My heart goes out to you guys for trying to save peoples lives everyday.

  3. I know exactly what you're talking about.. I'm not in med school but I'm in an institute where we all prepare for pre med exams … And this suicide stuff is so common here .. like they aren't even in med school completely .. and everyone is senior in high school.. but here the atmosphere is different from high school.. Because.. we're future doctors who can't take care of themselves …
    It's actually sick

  4. India is the worst in my opinion..We have a horrendous lack of facilities where in the middle of an operation the power will go off! Good luck trying to suction for a clear operating view!Our hours aren't properly defined so residents will probably work easily over 100 hours, and this is nothing compared to the government hospitals (residents there do 140 hours)!We have so many patients that some of our hospitals have to keep 3 patients on a bed (even in the emergency room) or on the floor. We don't get paid much, for the most part it's barely enough to survive. I literally worked for free as a medical internship, even though by law I'm supposed to be getting paid.Physician suicide is kept under TIGHT WRAPS! Like you literally won't know about it, unless someone mentions it! And it is incredibly common, I even had a classmate who ended up leaving medical school due to a bad mental status! The studies we do is insane, our residency exam is next to impossible to clear, just to let you know we have to use books like Robbins, Harrison's, Sabiston's and Grey's/Moore's just to get through! Our university exams are unfair, for all you know your paper might be corrected by someone who's not even a doctor (common in India), who might fail you for no apparent reason!You can't complain and make a big deal about it because corruption and black money are literally a part and parcel of the system!Just to let you know our hospital had a policy where a patient would not get treated in the emergency room unless he paid upfront! No exaggeration!This probably explains why there are so many Indian IMGs.

  5. Great video, well spoken on such an important topic!! I will certainly make a video to help further this important message. Thank you for making this video!

  6. I'm a med student and I would like to thank you for your initiative ! That was a great subject to talk about ! Peaple think that résidents or doctors in general are superheroes that will take care of them dispite everything, peaple will count on doctors. But what peaple don't really Know is that even doctors need someone to take care of them listen to them and help them get through tough moments . We need to #STOPPHYSICIANSILENCE

  7. What is the proposed solution? Cut down on the work hours? Or maybe bring more additional residents? We also have this problem in my country, and I certainly dont want to go down that path (Im currently a 2nd year medical student). How do I(we) prevent this?

  8. 👏👏👏👏 Thank you! We all need to take responsibility and do something about. We all have a duty to care. Your video was so inspirational. What can we do!?


    Let's face it and put it straight – NOTHING WILL CHANGE !!!!!

    At the highest level, medicine is a business in the first place
    Why would someone change anything for you? More workload on residents -> less residents needed -> less $$$ paid -> more PROFIT for them…
    See the logic in this? And everyone is replaceble, the competition for residency spots is still ferocious, we know that.

    Oh, and i almost forgot, highers also sell bullshitology to medical residents and students: how it used to be harder, how we are privileged to have this opportunity and you name it…
    Bullshitology that really you will really buy in at the end of the day, it’s like brainwashing.
    Don’t get me wrong, I love to help people as much as I can, but to say that modern medicine is meant to help people is hilarious… Modern medicine is a business in which ocasionally it happens that you are helping people.

    But how we keep our sanity through all of this?
    By never forgetting that this profession is the disease… You are taking everyday a pill of misery which you may or you may not be prepared for . And ironically, it kind of accumulates over time and sooner or later, it may backfire really bad, in ways beyond what you can even imagine right now…

    But you don’t have to accept it. When it gets poisonous, fuck the whole thing and get out of it until it's too late (and for residents it is not too late) !! Nobody has to suffer from the dangers of a poisonous lifestyle which translates into social, mental and physical ilness!!!!
    The REALITY is that there are options… But you may not you feel trapped… I get it, I know how you feel, trust me. To invest that much soul, mind (and money, a fucking tank of them) into this whole thing and realise that it is just not worth it… It’s kind of depressing

    But let me remind you that THERE ARE OPTIONS to get out of this. Medicine in US is not the only way to go on with your life

    But You CAN do something else. I'm not fantasising, there are countless examples for doctors that shift to something else. Compared to medical training, in other areas the standards of work are not as high as in medicine and the pay is way better for the workload… And over time, they frequently get to the top, where the life really gets sexy 🙂

    There are specialities and counties where workloading you above the 9-5 is like a murder… Seriously speaking, why not go into them?
    Or just practice the art of not giving a F*CK on your job and HAVE MORE FUN in your free time – curling, darts, hockey, chess, poker , travel like crazy, going to more parties, read more – you name it (MILLIONS OF PEOPLE are doing that and enjoying life like crazy)

    What I said above may or may not relate to you, but the point was to prove that THERE ARE OPTIONS
    You have OPTIONS, use them!!! The problem is not that there is too little to do because, frankly speaking, there is VERY MUCH to do about it!! The problem is that we are too INVESTED EMOTIONALLY into this stuff and sooner or later we find ourselves in a place in which we lack perspectives and we are brainwashed by the whole stuff around us

    However, don't fall into the trap of helplessness. You are young, you are healthy, you are wise! Your pantients may be in a hopeless place , but you are not !!!!
    Stay in for the long game and flip the coin to the other side when you find the opportunity! Few very well pointed actions, even if it MAY FEEL hard to make them now but that's all it takes. Don't be afraid/unwilling to seek for help when necessary and THE RIGHT PEOPLE will love give it to you when you need it. You will even get back on the track sooner than you would ever think you will.

    My message is this: if it sucks today it doesn't have to suck the rest of your life. There is so much to do, even if you still feel there is not … Seek for help and CHANGE SOMETHING IT IF IT SUCKS!

  10. This is a random, off topic request, but could you make a video about how to properly care for skin? Great video! I'm very happy to see that you are spreading awareness for such an important issue.

  11. I lost a classmate last year n I swear I said the same thing to my self "she wasn't just strong enough". But this ain't gonna stop me from loving the grind. It truly is the ugly truth of medicine. 😑😣

  12. I just graduated from CSULB w/ premed and while there, I was a suicide prevention trainer. While learning about suicide prevention, I stumbled across a book on physician suicides and it really shook me. I modified our suicide prevention trainings specifically for premed students (since I never saw premeds in my training) hoping that it can at least get us thinking about open communication, self-care, positive help-seeking behavior, etc. I think the issue of physician suicides needs to begin even before med school, because what I found in my trainings is that it was difficult for us premed students to talk about mental health and suicide. I agree that this is an issue that deserves more attention. Thanks for talking about it.

  13. I had no idea this existed. I can only imagine how hard med school and residency is. What they put you all through is crazy, and you do it to help people. Add on the people who are lawsuit happy ready to sue over everything. Doctors are human too, and can only take so much. Great video. Hope all is well with you and I will share your info to help get the word out.

  14. Dr.Jubbal, you are in the unique position to use your network and talents to convene a group of like-minded physicians to work with you to envision a path to more humane medical training and practice. This one change would be a turning point in humanity. It would benefit doctors, their patients and all of their loved ones. What a gift that would be. Those interested in working with Dr. Jubbal, have courage, stand up and be counted!!

  15. Thank you so much for making this video. I`m a veterinarian working at an university hospital for dogs and cats in Germany and we have the same problems. Many of us work until total exhaustion, while only a little part of the working hours are paid. We don`t get a day off when working weekends or night shifts. I see my fellows getting old to fast because of lack of sleep. There is a lot of group pressure. It´s such an ill system. And if you say anything loud, you don´t get a follow-up contract (we have to get a new one every year or every two years).

  16. Thank you so much Jay! I love your down to the Earth mentality when surrounding serious issues and not just saying what's common or expected but saying what needs to be said!! I fully support your train of thought about physician silence.

  17. It actually isn't 'outrageous' to say that to women. They are legitmately equal to men. Many who complain about gender inequality want government aid because they themselves believe that they are inferior and need help.

  18. I was just referred here by Dr Parker's video and I'm so glad more people are talking about it. I think it's VITAL that more is done about this topic in this field. I just recently did a video on this topic and my struggle with depression and i'm so glad more people are talking about it and definitely more needs to happen. And what you said is SO TRUE, no one understands until they are doing this. My mum is a nurse and even she doesn't fully grasp it when i complain about how tough it is lol

  19. Im going to share this on my Facebook. My toxicology teacher killed herself when I was in medschool, she was so good to everyone. She even said she didnt go out a single time to dance/nightclubs while she was in med school because of studying. Gave too much to everyone and lost herself in the process

  20. Came in from Dr. Parker's channel, and this video was just what i hoped it would be. Thank you to you and to everyone that had the courage to talk about this, because it is happening all around us and we shouldn't just sit and be silent. I personally haven't lost any classmates to suicide in medschool, but I hear too many students "joking" about harming themselves in a fatal way in the hallways for me to feel comfortable…Underneath every one of those jokes I know lies the truth, the fact that they've thought about it more than once.. and that's beyond sad and to me it's just a matter of time before tragedy happens, though I really hope not. #stopphysiciansilence

  21. Thank you for starting this conversation. I am a spouse of a first-year medical student, and I agree with you that friends and family don't understand. I believe that those of us closest to physicians need to encourage them to have a support group of other doctors, because of this lack of understanding. What do you believe family and friends can do to be supportive given or lack of knowledge? This video has been a great reminder to me of my inability to grasp the hardship of physicians’ lives. Thank you for speaking the truth.

  22. Hey I included this in a BIO141 assignment:)
    The stats aboutbmed docs having the highest
    rate of suicide out of all professions. Met with
    some blank stares but o well least it’s out there

  23. Sir, this is amazing. I will be starting med school in the uk in September and this really opened up my eyes. My view of medicine is glamourised, I try to look beyond the fatalities and the difficulties, so thank you for bringing this to my attention. How do you suggest I stay afloat during the medical degree?

  24. My Trauma Surgeon (who saved my life in 05) killed himself. The year before he passed I named my son after him. I called Hartford and found out he hung himself on exercise equipment. Five years later and it's still so hard for me. I live, he doesn't.. Google him please..Dr Mark Sebastian he is and will forever be my angel and hero..RIP 💔💔💔💔💔

  25. Thank you Dr for your honesty and recognizing that there's a problem from the doctor standpoint. I'm a pain patient of 18 years now being killed by my doctor and he says there's just nothing he can do. So he's quit seeing patients and makes his assistance do the sentencing of the patience. There's no hope from my perspective but if people continue on like you're doing perhaps someday you'll have a union that can take the place of the malicious that the founding fathers had in mind in the Second Amendment. Please keep up your diligent work long after I'm gone which will be weeks now. Thank you

  26. Just think how you would feel if you were being put to death like me? If that does not give you some kind of incentive then you just don't have a conscience whatsoever. I feel sorry for you

  27. Everything you said was true. It's crazy how much gets swept under the rug. Also being a physician is not the same as it was back when our parents where going through it. The "Golden Age" of being a physician is no more and there are a lot of things we have to put up with that they did not.

  28. Thank you for sharing this. I’ve been inspired to share my own story as a way to bring more awareness to the topic.

  29. Im glad you posted this video because Im currently in the same position. So many bad things have happened to me trying to become a doctor. Im on the verge of breaking. I had preeclampsia w/HELLP and a sick preemie my first year of residency. Im in radiology residency and people will still act like its great. I want to commit suicide.

  30. A physician, medical practitioner, medical doctor, or simply doctor is a professional who practises medicine, which is concerned with promoting, maintaining, or restoring health through the study, diagnosis, and treatment of disease, injury, and other physical and mental impairments.

    Physicians may focus their practice on certain disease categories, types of patients and methods of treatment—known as specialities—or they may assume responsibility for the provision of continuing and comprehensive medical care to individuals, families, and communities—known as general practice.

    Medical practice properly requires both a detailed knowledge of the academic disciplines (such as anatomy and physiology) underlying diseases and their treatment—the science of medicine—and also a decent competence in its applied practice—the art or craft of medicine.

    Both the role of the physician and the meaning of the word itself vary around the world.

    Degrees and other qualifications vary widely, but there are some common elements, such as medical ethics requiring that physicians show consideration, compassion, and benevolence for their patients.

  31. ur talking about how med school is this and that well how BROKEN is the whole education system… is also a thing! YOU ARE BASICALLY F*** TEACHING URSELF… there is no TEACHING happening in colleges and unis…. this is crazzy…. how this shit is gng on …of course it will create BROKEN PEOPLE, STUDENTS and DOCTORS… my advisor told me u may wana take orgo some other time .. and i am like why? becoz "its a course most people fail in school" and i am like … standing there thinking in my head "SO, WTF ARE U GUYS DNG AS A SCHOOL TO CHANGE THIS FAILING RATIO"

  32. God bless doctors, you guys are saving the most precious gift God gives us- life. Don’t forget that God loves you guys too, I find that since most doctors find themselves to be “science” people, they quickly dismiss God. I find that having God there greatly helps people with feelings of hopelessness, and a void most people feel. I myself know how suicide thoughts and depression feels. Never thought I would have made it out alive if I didn’t finally realize God is real and has been there for me my entire life.

  33. Going to the hospital is one of a person's most dreaded events. Imagine if your whole life was in a hospital with sick people every day. That's why I didn't go into the medical profession.

  34. It's great to hear people raising awareness. I don't know you personally but I had a cousin who killed himself. We wernt close or anything but I think suicide matters to everyone if it doesn't then it should do. People need to care about each other more then they do. And I didn't know doctors are so much more likely to commit suicide then your average person. It isn't surprising when you look into the hours they work, the stress, the responsibility, the not being present with your own families and wives or husbands etc. The list goes on I can't imagine losing patients you have bonds with and not being aloud to grieve any of it because your a doctor. People never think of Dr's getting depressed or mental health issues etc because your Dr is someone you go to for help, Dr's are so up together with there lives, we think if they can get a medical degree there very intelligent people and wouldn't do something like suicide, these are high members of society we trust these people, we appreciate them, we are lucky to have them. But who or what do they do or have for help? It's not right and stuff needs to Be done. This video was needed and it was a start. We are all responsible for making the world a better place. Your video is a good start. I'm just a regular mum from the UK who just read something written on physician suicide I'll add the info it was written by a Dr about the Dr's they'd lost they have spent the last 5years studying and researching and helping suicidal physicians and. Some of the families left behind by suicide. If you care about this issue read this article it's got some pretty shocking statistics in It. Please stop physician suicide and suicide in general. And if your suicidal yourself I've been there, I took tablets twice and was found and had my stomach pumped. But people who have survived gunshots or Bridge jumps will all tell you the moment they pulled the trigger or jumped off the building or bridge etc they instantly regretted there descicion but it was to late. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem I read somewhere and it's very true. I'll find the Article and put the info on my comments in replies.

  35. I feel like there is a lot of "If I went through it, you should have to go through it too" in medicine. I know that's how many attendings see it.i personally want to help change things. We should take care of it so that those after us don't have to.

  36. Suicide and depression is also high in the veterinary field as well. I’ve worked in the field for 5 years and have lost a few veterinarians and technicians. Burnout, suicide and depression happens all sides of healthcare

  37. Human medicine: long working hours, high debt, beauracy, hospital politics, having lives on the line

    Veterinary medicine: long working hours, high debt with low salary right out of vet school (most vets come out with $300k in loans with a starting salary of $60k), ungrateful clients who dont care of their pets, the fact that society sees pets as property, cyber bullying, euthanasia’s…

  38. Hey Dr, i'm making a presentation to spread #stopPhysicianSilence in front of my peers, do you have any arguments or points to this topic?

  39. In the veterinary field the AVMA has noticed the trend of suicides in the veterinary field and are very supportive when it comes to mental status. Every week they constantly posts articles on suicide prevention/managing high student loan debt on our VIN network. I think something like that would be a great start for human medicine

  40. This reminded me of my legal training. It’s a “right of passage and tests how valuable you can be to a practice.” I knew of a lawyer who literally died at his desk. It’s extremely unhealthy. I’m sorry for your losses

  41. "We're afraid of what the repercussions might be…". This is SOOOOO TRUE! Even in nursing. I am not a MD and I will certainly not pretend to understand it from that aspect. But the environment of silence? Absolutely. The entire paradigm on which healthcare in the west is founded is askew and broken. Nurses are leaving the profession in droves, the MDs we work are emotionally defeated and have become complacent (out of sheer self preservation in order to cope) assaults, harassment, mistakes…are all swept under the rug. If something doesn't change soon, how much worse is it going to get??

  42. thnx for sharing this, as a second year medstudent we face somethings that yet we can't understand and every time i have a set back i ask myself if i'm on the right path, and believe me i look up to all doctors because the path is hard, not just hard but for some people almost impossible.
    Congratulation for sharing this dark side of the medicine , as a just a student i see many friend struggling with mental health and the college just dont give a single f#$#R.

  43. The problem is when humans changed from farmers in the 1800s to corporate slaves…..these corporate slaves turn into concentration camps that get more and more demanding and unrealisitc……every year the demands get worse and worse from corporate and it turns into a nazi concentration camp

  44. OK, Kevin, what you are saying is right on point. From my own experience, I think that the crux of the problem in medicine is the culture of medicine itself and the culture of medicine is something that has been around for a long, long time (unabated) and, I would say, in spite of old-timers' saying that they had it worse. So, it begs the question, "What is at the root of medical culture?" I believe it has its roots in the culture of abuse. My first exposure to it was when I asked my pathology professor why he thought that trauma to the frontal cortex was responsible for unconsciousness in boxing. He then proceeded to ask me a series of questions which I could not answer and which were meant to humiliate me. It was his way of saying, "Don't you dare ask me a question on something that I have already proclaimed to be so." Another incident occurred in medical school: a second year resident was showing me how to perform a pleurodesis. I had never done one before. But, he then proceeded to treat me as if I were an incompetent fool for not knowing how to do it the first time. Rarely in my life – up to that point – had I been so humiliated. But, he had a great time belittling me. I also had an attending in anesthesia training who would routinely come into the OR and totally upend my set-up. Why? Because he could. I saw no other reason. He would also continually interfere with my efforts to intubate patients when it was clear that I just needed a little more time. Why? Because he could without repercussion. Does this happen a lot in residency? Not exactly, but there are many ways to make people feel small, insignificant, and humiliated…especially when there is NO RECOURSE. And this – more than anything else – I believe lies at the heart of the problem. I believe that it is the latter that leads to psychological problems in both residents and attendings, even to the point of suicide. As another example, the vice-chair of the department of surgery where I trained once had all of us junior residents put on play for his amusement. It was useless and humiliating, but he got a huge kick out of it. Why did he do it? Because he could. I'm sure that my experiences are tame compared to others out there which I'm sure are horrific. Couple these experiences with the long hours of continuous, non-stop stressful work over many, many hours, and what you end up with is a not fully whole person practicing medicine. There is a physician, Dr. Amy Chai, who reported on Quora that she once worked on-call for 60+ hours during her residency to the point where she began hallucinating and writing incorrect orders. Yet, she refused to call this "abuse." Can you imagine that? The irony is not that physicians commit suicide but why more don't. No human being is made to take this kind of abusive behavior. None of us are; not you, not me, no one. So, what is the remedy? Well, it is my understanding that medical residencies are funded, in part, by the federal government. I believe that this is where the answer lies. The Department of Justice and the FBI are very sensitive about abuse in their programs anywhere. In spite of the fact that reforms, e.g., setting limits on hours worked, have been made to curb this kind of behavior, the law has no teeth. That's what it needs: teeth (i.e., the FBI, Congress, DOJ, what have you) You can be at the vanguard of this sort of movement. Why? Because it's obvious to me that you care. Realize that there's going to be all kinds or roadblocks, but don't relent. We need balanced people as physicians. We need whole people as physicians. Also realize that most physicians will NOT back you in your crusade. Why? Because they're focused on their own goals which typically have little to do with concerns about their fellow physicians. I could recount endless stories of abuse during my residency, but there just isn't enough time. I also want to say that doctors – by and large – buy into this mentality even though they would never treat their family or people they care about the same way. Good luck!!!

  45. My dad went to NYU dental school back in the 70's and there were always dental;/medical student suicides in the library. They put plexiglass glass up on the top floors so people couldn't jump over the banisters

  46. I had no idea, this is huge and you're right I have never heard of this until now. We are racing too live a 36 hr day in a 24 hr period. What is it that we expect our culture to live this way . We need to stop this crazy western way. Where are we razing too?. It's the pressure to preform beyond human capabilities. So sad.

  47. This is one of the best videos I have ever seen in my life. You are having people understand that being a doctor is more than Grey’s anatomy there are bigger problem in the medical field that people don’t want to talk about.

  48. I so badly want to leave but I don't know what would happen to my loans. I went straight to med school from college and have no other marketable skills or work experience to get another job right now.

  49. You’re right this is ridiculous. How is one expected to save another man’s life when working 80hr weeks? Let alone wanting to be the best when your personal life is gone.

  50. Any human activity that involves a lot of competition, status, and money….things will not be "normal". It's the same in banking, accounting, legal, etc. Everyone handles pressure and periods of isolation in different ways. You may feel trapped in a bad career, relationship, or money problems but there are always better solutions than suicide.

    Wishing success to all the Med students & Residents out there. Get enough rest, eat right, and try to enjoy some personal time.

  51. Hi, I tried to take my life and instead of support my medical school suspended me. I can go back in a year's time if I want but am not sure that this is something for me. I see you quit your residency and it takes a lot to leave medicine even if not permanently. Thanks for sharing!

  52. Se existissem mais pessoas no mundo como você, como eu que têm coragem de se expôr por um bem maior, nossa realidade seria outra. Cara estava olhando seu canal no youtube, seu carro, você podia estar por ai nas festas, nas noitadas e pouco se importando com quem se suicida, ou com quem quer viver. Me inspirou demais sua posição, além do fato de falar sobre o assunto que têm sido a segunda causa de morte entre jovens de 15 a 29 o que mais move meu coração é olhar para uma pessoa na sua posição que está verdadeiramente querendo impactar nosso mundo para dias melhores. Conte comigo. E te encorajo a fazer mais vídeos neste sentido. Aqui no Brasil há escolas que se paga rios de dinheiro, os alunos estudam 20 horas por dia, para fazer medicina e na grande maioria por decisão de terceiros. Parabéns. Vou compartilhar para chegar ao máximo de pessoas seu relato.
    Que Deus o abençoe.

  53. Você não está só Kevin! Você abriu portas para muitos que precisam fazer o mesmo que você, mas lhes faltava a coragem que você têm e o motivador para outras pessoas!!!

  54. Had no idea about this. Thank you for shedding light and thank you all physicians and med students for your hard work.





    Do your research. I don't believe they were all suicides. The Cabaal has been using all of you to farm the rest of us. You administer and track their bioweapons for them. That is what you fresh interns and residents don't know yet.

    I suggest the bulk of you start exploring alternative career choices. The HealthCare (oxymoron!) Money Machine is about to come to a screeching halt!

    Are you kidding me?!?!? Boo Hoo Hoo, you had to study really hard. And your jobs require long hours. How many of you have even ever been through a colonoscopy?? The prep alone is PURE SADISM! It's not a difficult job……. writing perscriptions all day. Did they tell you in school that with the enactment of ObamaCare, M.D. now stands for "Medication Distributor, specializing in Pain Killers?" Yeah, I think it was on page 911 of the over 1,000 pages of murderous lies.

    A Patriot would educate themselves and Choose Greatness. If not, GOD HAVE MERCY ON YOUR SOULS.

  56. If you are still wanting to do a study on the issue let's talk. I can do a mean lit review and find a framework. Let's get it!!!

  57. I was with my doctor for my annual physical.I told my doctor I was depressed because I lost my mom. I’m 61 years old now. He told me that was probably normal. Then he asked me did I feel like hurting myself and I said no. That was the last time I saw him. He killed himself shortly after that visit. He had been my primary Doctor for over 30 years.

  58. I get it: I am in a school Physical Therapy program: my CI is aggressive w/me and the school wants me to suck it up , But when I tell my girlfriends what is happening they remind me this is abuse. But I have to suck it up. We give up so much to practice our chosen field.

  59. I am sorry to hear about your fellow residents. You make a lot of good points. This problem encompasses all of the helping professions. I'm a teacher, and we also have quite a number of suicides every year. My father was in the medical profession for 40 years, and his alcoholism became so overwhelming for him, he ended up in a nursing home at 62 with alcoholic dementia. Personally, I don't go to conventional medical doctors much anymore because I am aware that there are so many problems.

  60. Being around sick needy people day in and day out is taxing and depressing! How does own not fall into a deep depression when constantly being surrounded by that atmosphere? God help our medical professionals is my prayer!

  61. in medicine we are being turned into cogs on a fucking wheel…the bullshit scores we need the bullshit we have to take from admin assholes who have no fucking idea what the fuck medicine is. then theres these fucks going around the hospital talking about quality control bullshit. like if we were producing fucking nuts and bolts in a factory.then theres the fucking mile long chart bullshit…yeah im a doctor who is sick of all the fucking lawsuits and admin asshole who drive up to the hospital in a ferrari when i cant make my student loans or tax bills….

  62. thank you. im going through something i cant explain. im a senior ob-gyn resident. i went to an explosive anger last duty, i was reprimanded, i filed for resignation, and everyone is asking what happened and what i answered is "i dont know, im just tired". its really shameful, coz i know i love being in the operating room, i love operating, thats only thing i know im good at. its like im falling apart coz i feel things that normal people think its just something i should get through it, like everyone is tired how come u act like that. and i want them out of my life coz they dont and cant understand. im thinking of suicide but i cant hurt my parents, its like im sufferring of sadness i cant explain. some would tell me how come i felt like that if im considered as one of the best, that i know something they dont know, that im good at being a resident. something i dont and cant understand, i feel they are just telling things coz they want me to go down or out of the training. yesterday i filed for resignation and let go of my dreams of being a good obgyne or being a surgeon. i would like to clear things that they are not bullying me. im know im strong enough and they cant do that to me. but i feel sad and i feel empty and i feel anxious that they want me down. they want me to fail….

  63. Doctors are some of the most selfish and greedy people that I know.The are very good at hiding it with a mask of empathy and pretending to be caring.Doctors kill themselves because their fellow doctors are very unsupportive and cut throat.Most of them are obsessed by money and power.

  64. It often takes me days to recover from abusive patients who make me their scapegoat for their own hateful thoughts

  65. Just made a post about this on insta using your words with your name and this hastag: #stopphysiciansilence, thank you for your honesty, best wishes

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