ISPP 2015

Career Opportunities in Pharmacy
Lamotrigine medication bad reaction. F my life!!!! Depression, anxiety and bpd

welcome back to my channel I appreciate you clicking onto my video to watch I've still been feeling kind of down and depressed kind of been thinking about all the stuff that has been going on in my life that has contributed to me feeling even more depressed more down kind of feeling sorry for myself something that happened with him to me within the last month or two was ohm it was actually kind of a scary situation I had went to my psychologist psychologist a psychiatrist whatever one prescribes medication anyways I saw him and I'd mentioned to him that my moods had been up and down one second um you know happy excited in the next second down in a second I don't know my just my moods were up and down like it just felt like a roller coaster of emotions that were very difficult for me to manage let's say that so I talked I talked to him about being on a mood stabilizer right now I am on medication I do take medication for my depression and anxiety I'm on a psych teletraan you Pro prion and buspirone and those seem to help me a lot but I felt like I just needed one more thing to kind of help me with my up-and-down emotions so he recommended that I try something called them lamotrigine I had never heard of lamotrigine until he had mentioned it and I believe not mistaken lamotrigine is mostly used for people with seizures to help them out but it's also used to help people with mood how people stabilize their mood so and I apologize for the sign of it back off you can see me so anyways um I started taking it the one morning that he gave me was that lamotrigine is known to cause rashes so he told me to keep an eye on they call my arms and my legs and just my body I me to make sure that no rashes were to develop and if a rash were to develop to call him right away so I took the medication and mm-hmm nothing like that ever happens to me you know usually there's a bunch of side effects and rarely am I the one that's bothered by it so basically and there's people walking one of these today probably looking at me over my camera like this guy some a little nervous embarrassed right now okay back to the story so I started taking them medication and I started feeling a little bit more depressed which I kind of figured was gonna be the case and usually takes a while for the medication to take effect anyways so I'm taking the medication and I noticed that I developed blisters on my feet and throughout my life I have played sports I you know exercise I've been a gemwraps gym rat so I'm used to having athlete's feet it's just something that I've had my entire life so when I had the blisters on my feet I just assumed that it was so more and more blisters started to appear you know they were starting to pop and eventually they got infected it got to the point where my feet both my feet left and right look like if somebody were to get a lighter and a bottle of hairspray and just like light it like the hairspray into the – the lighter and just how it and basically put that on my feet and my feet will just melt like skin and oozing that's what my feet literally looked like I have a picture and decided not to put it up because it is very disturbing and just don't want put that up there but nobody wants to see that so I didn't think much of it to be quite honest to you and I was I mean obviously I knew it something was bad but I just assumed it was a Steve Steve so I was putting a regular athlete's feet medication on it it wasn't until somebody I knew asked me if I was taking more medication that could cause rashes and that's when it clicked I'm like holy crap I'm taking a motor the doctor who prescribed me told me that they could cause rashes but that wasn't the type of rashes I thought was gonna happen I thought the rashes he was talking about we're gonna be like on my arms or my back on my legs I didn't think it was gonna be blisters on my feet that's not what I was expecting after doing some research I did realize that yes the motion does cause blisters on the feet and they can be infected and that's what happened Mikey got infected so I went not willingly I mean I was know like my mom and a girl I was dating friends and family were urging me to go to Urgent Care or the emergency room to get my feet checked out and I didn't want to go you know I don't have insurance so that was another big deal that he couldn't afford to go to the emergency room you know thousands of dollars right there that I didn't want to spend on that anyways long story short I do go to the urgent care I go in see one of the nurse practitioners she sees my fee and she tells me I need to go to the emergency room right away she was even going to prescribe me any medication which honestly pissed me off because that's the full reason while I was theirs for them to look at my feet you know give me any medication like kind of my audits and help it out she refused to give me any medication told me I wasn't even going to look at anymore I needed to leave at that moment at the emergency room so I leave and every luckily went to the emergency room I didn't want to go but it went and the doctors were not 100% sure exactly what caused the rash even though I knew what it was it was the medicine they weren't hundred percent sure at the emergency room because they wanted me to go see a skin doctor a dermatologist is what I guess but anyways they looked at my feet they realized that my feet were indeed infected blisters and whatever juices so they did give me some medication they gave me some medication to kind of like some appointment to roll my feet and they also gave me an antibiotic so I took the antibiotic and within a week my feet were pretty much I don't wanna say back to normal but getting there you could tell the antibiotic had helped my feet were getting healthier as of today my feet are 100% better you can kind of still see the outline of what had happened but it's pretty much better it's pretty much a terrible experience that I went through and the most upsetting part was that I had been trying to get a hold of my psychiatrist or whatever whatever one's medications I'm sorry I've been trying all of the doctor was just put it that way of who prescribed me the medication and tell him about what had happened to me and I called the call that messages messages and he just never called me back so I physically went down to the doctor's office told him hey I'm here I need to talk to you and of course my phone rang after they told him I was there so I spoke to him on the phone he told me to stop taking the medication right away which I haven't done and he wanted to continue putting me on it but at a lord ozai said hell no I just don't know I just didn't feel like like he told me when I took the medication that if anything were to go wrong with it to call him right away and I did and it took him days to get back with me another reason he got back with me is because actually physically went down to the offices it was just very frustrating I don't think I'm gonna go on a mood stabiliser I want to continue doing what I'm doing now I mean I'm very Pro medicine I think it can help people and I'm also with those people who choose not to go on medication as long as what they do works for them and healthiness is what prevails my support is with you with me I'd needed medication and I can tell the difference being on this medication I don't know why I'm telling the story I just felt like Oh something to talk about if anybody has ever been on lamotrigine and they've had the same experience you know you can comment below or if you are on it and it's working good for you that's awesome – you know it just didn't work for me I was just really scary and you know I think about everyone tomorrow and I'm thinking why does always bad stuff happening to me and I just feel like for the last couple months like a lot of worst-case scenarios have been happening to me I don't want I feel like in this video and in the last video I was like a Debbie Downer talking about oh my god I'm so depressed but I guess I am so me it's I don't know I don't know what I'm trying to say I know the things that I have to do I surround myself around people who are good support members find an activity or something that makes me happy to cope with now listen to positive music whether it's lifting continue reading my Bible and Bible study praying that stuff's good stuff and it helps it's just really really hard cuz I don't want to feel this way don't it's almost like it's almost like it being late at night and you're absolutely exhausted just tired tired tired tired and eyes are just falling on you you just don't you don't you're fighting your sleep and a part of you what I'm trying to say is it's like trying to fight your sleep and staying up your body's tired your minds exhausted you're trying to get sleep your body needs to rest but you know and your mind that I don't want to sleep but you can't help because your body is tired and your fantasy does that make sense I don't even know if I'm making sense anymore but what I'm saying is I don't want to be depressed I don't want to be sad I don't want to be a debbie downer I want to be happy with my body in my mind was like not letting me and I try to be happy ever smiled and it just felt completely fake sometimes I feel like when I'm doing these videos it's the only time I wear of the real me meaning that when I'm out and I'm not behind this camera speaking my truth I have a mask on of someone who's happy life's good I mean I know I've been talking down but life ultimately is good no God is good I'm gonna continue fighting I've gotten a lot of good feedback from people I keep fighting and I'm going to there's people out there that have left the comments that are very inspiring and motivational thank you so much and I'm gonna take those words and run with them and listen and not take it for granted fight stay motivated you know love people love myself just uh you know be happy of this gift of life that I have you know have family and friends that love me a job no I try to remind myself positive things in life I know this video is all over the place I just I just needed to talk so I don't know if anybody is still watching at this point of my video and you can aren't thank you if not that's okay too you know but I just needed to talk get stuff off my chest I don't vent a little bit this is probably more for me than anybody else sometimes when I make these videos which I mean a lot of them I don't post them and this one I probably post I don't know what the point of this fuel is but anyways I'm just gonna stop filming out I feel a little better I guess I just want to think again everybody for watching and for all the support and love and you guys are all valuable human beings no we're gonna get through this together let's stick together you know love is amazing and I have nothing but love and respect for all of you out there so thank you so much watching and I will see you on my next video bye

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