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Hiding Self-Harm Scars? Dealing with them – Mental Health Videos with Kati Morton | Kati Morton

Hey everyone, today’s video topic has been something that you always request and request and that is self harm scars. What do we do to cover them up? What if we miss them? What if we like them and we keep wanting more? What do we do? So stay tuned. So like I said, today’s topic is just kind of talking about our self harm scars and I’ve heard from many of you that it was summertime and it’s still summertime, let’s be honest I was schvitzing like a pig today But we have to bare more skin in the summer. We may have trips with our families to the beach or the pool or whatever and we don’t really know how to, um, cover them up or make it so people don’t see them and there’s no way we can just wear turtlenecks and leggings everywhere all day every day, right? So there’s a couple tips and tricks and if you have any tips and tricks please leave your comments below on things that have worked for you, but in my knowledge working with clients as well as things you have shared in the past there are three or four options we have. The first is: Mederma, which is like a scar smoother which I have used on the scars on my knees from when I was a kid and it really helps smooth those scars that are raised and bring them down. There is also: Bio Oil That can help, and that is another thing; it helps our scars go away more quickly. There is Vitamin E and things like that And let’s say we don’t have months to prepare, right? ‘Cause it’s now! It’s summer now! We can use different foundations, I guess. And I know if you’re a guy you’re like “Kati, I’m not going to out and freaking buy some makeup! What are you talking about?” But there are a lot of different makeups available. There’s one called “Evercover” and it’s actually…if you google like, “as seen on TV” which I know sounds really cheesy But “as seen on TV” foundation coverup for burns, and it’s actually for people who have burns or veins that show in their leg that is an amazing cover up I have had clients who say, you can just cover up a bunch of things and it’s amazing. So there’s that…and I believe it’s honestly like $20 USD and I know some of them are a bit expensive but MAC…M.A.C, that cosmetic brand they have coverup, they say it is for tattoos and stuff like if you’re famous and can’t show a tattoo we’ve gotta cover it up and I think it’s about $20-30 USD But it doesn’t take a lot and it stays really well. It’s waterproof. I would look into that; and those are the ways to cover it up. If you’re looking to make it go away or make it so people don’t notice. Also, I have clients get creative. I have clients who, if it’s on their arms, will wear bracelets. Or different sleeve lengths. Or if it’s a sort of sheer shirt, it looks summery even though it’s long-sleeved. Or as far as our legs go, leggings are very in and we can even wear different tights with dresses and that’s definitely another option. But the main thing I want to talk about is ‘The reasons we miss our scars’ or we like having them and sometimes we wonder if we want them to go away and the main thing is, first of all, like always (And I know you hate it when I say this!) Take sometime and think about it. Journal! Even
if it’s just some bullet points. Think: What your self harm means to you. And I know it’s really abstract, and you may be like, ‘Kati. I have no idea’ But start thinking along those lines…Like, When do I do it most. Do I have any idea when it started? Is there a trigger that will always trigger us? Like sometimes, if we run into a parent or a family member or someone who may have abused us in the past and every time we see them we relapse, right? And we don’t know how to stop the trigger And we obviously can’t prepare enough to stop it, but start thinking along those lines What is it that made the self-harm start? What triggers it most? And’ to that end, what purpose does your self-harm serve? The same way I talk about eating disorders, what purpose does it serve for us? Does it numb us out? Does it help us feel more? Is it about inflicting the pain and controling it? Being the only one who inflicts it? And, you know, it’s almost like if someone is abusing us physically and we’re feeling that pain, “I’m taking control of it!” “You can’t hurt me” “I choose when I get hurt” and I don’t know if that kind of makes sense, but that’s kind of what I’m trying to draw on because if our self harm, when we find out it’s purpose, that can tell us why we like having or seeing our scars because it can be a reminder of the fact that we are in control or it can be a reminder of the pain that we feel emotionally that we’re expressing physically Does that make sense? I know sometimes it’s hard for me to take all of this conceptualization info and compact it into a video, but usually with my clients I find that the reason we miss the scars and the reason we want them is that it’s a reminder of pain we’ve had in the past and the reason we self-harmed. and so the way to let ourselves out of that and out of the grips of the self-harm cycle is to figure out what purpose it serves and start filling that purpose with something else that is healthy Like, I’m in control of my own pain and I choose to feel happiness instead. I choose to reach out instead. And we can slowly change that process so our brain isn’t stuck in this cycle. And we don’t keep self-harming because we don’t see a gap in there where we can make a difference. We can choose something else! Ok? So that’s just a little bit of some ideas for thought and things, I think, that can kind of help. And if you have any tips and tricks, Like I say. Let us know! Share what YOU know because our community is growing and we are helping each other. It’s just wonderful, as we grow together and help one another. So sharing your experiences is invaluable to me and to everyone else. So I hope y’all have a wonderful rest of your day and I will see you soon! Bye! Subtitles by the community

100 thoughts on “Hiding Self-Harm Scars? Dealing with them – Mental Health Videos with Kati Morton | Kati Morton

  1. I wrote in this personal problems diary that no one knows I even own the first time I did it and every time it happens again, I've cut three times and I want to stop

  2. I'm getting tattoos over my self harm scars. I mean, it doesn't make them disappear so i can still see them, but I feel like the ink distracts away from them. That's growth right?

  3. Bruh I'm scared as hell bc it's almost summer and I have fresh cuts all over my thighs, wrists, and shoulders. And I can't wear sleeves a lot anymore bc my parents think I'm done cutting (they found out last year)

  4. Thank you, I knew that asking myself what purpose self harming serves was necessary, but now it's like you asked me and I can't turn the question away much longer. Thank you, now I know I need to find something else to replace it. 💜

  5. I’m in a sh relaps right now that has lasted for a few days now (I can’t spell because I’m stupid)

  6. 16 ish hours clean before that I was probably about a month Maybe more clean I fucked it up last night:(

  7. I hate my scars I jumped out of a car and they really make me feel bad looking at them fuck depression /:

  8. i started cutting june 2017 and i’m trying to stop around may 2018. i don’t know the exact day so i’m not sure how long i’ve been cleaned. i have scars on my leg and arm but the ones on my thigh are white and some of them are raised and every time i see them i always want to cut. idk why but it’s like the scars bring my comfort and i hate it but every time i see my leg i just want cuts on it.

  9. Im in the process of getting my scars tattooed over so this way I also dont want to bring them back. Plus tattoos are much prettier to look at 🙂

  10. Hi everyone who's reading.
    I deal with my selfharm scars that I hide them whenever I don't feel comfortable or when I think the people can't handle it. but to people I trust I tell the truth if they ask – otherwise I just say " it was an accident."

    I want to tell the people who are still going through, that there is definitely a way out – if you want to. (For me it worked that I slapt myself on my whole body(NOT untill I got bruises) in the beginning, untill I didnt need to put myself in pain "to feel something rather then emptiness" anymore…)
    You can always choose to be your own person. because you are the only one to yourself that can give an honest and forever promise to NEVER let you down.
    We are all capable to being strong and stand up for our-not-perfect-but-utter-selves.

    Wish you all the best folks.

  11. I've never had self harm scars , but something I do when I wear dresses is I wear opaque tights to hide the scars on my knees .

  12. i'm so glad there's a therapist that doesn't just say "self harm is bad, quit it" like kati is amazing she's actually helping people i love this (yes i'm aware this is years old but it's still helping me and a bunch of other people)

  13. I have been suffering from depression,mental health and anxiety for many years and I juat can't take it no more and I self harm every night and attempted suicide loads of times

  14. I self harm as well and i notice that i self harm more when things gets hard or something trigger it and i relapse. The scars are a reminder of my illness.

  15. The thing is my friend self harms and so do I
    But I help her with it but trigger myself whilst doing that
    But I care more about my friend then myself
    So then I always end up self harming afterwards

  16. I waited years and years for them to heal enough to get tattooed over…now they are covered in ink… Long wait tho to be able to do that…nearly a decade lolz…

  17. It’s 2018 and I’ve just come across your video, I wish I had found you sooner! Your videos are so helpful, thankyou sm! It’s crazy that this video was posted in 2013 and it’s still helping people to this day! I’ve been struggling with self harm for 4 years it’s tough but I’m grateful for everyday I get through it. Thanks again for this video it means a lot 🙂

  18. I honestly dont care about my scars. But I still wear long sleeves. Not to hide the scars, but to hide literally everything else cuz i hate my fat, hairy arms.

  19. When I turn 18 I want to get a NYC skylit 🏙 tattoo over my self harm scars with the Demi Lovato quote “go on and try to tear me down I will be rising from the ground like a skyscraper” because something that happened in New York caused a lot of my self harm

  20. I am 31 and my scars have never gone away (started cutting and burning in middle school). I can't believe I never thought of makeup! This topic is sooo taboo and I feel like the only person I've ever met that had this problem. I am ashamed of my scars but these videos give me hope that my feelings about them can be manageable and it's not the end of the world if someone notices them.

  21. How do I stop my friend from cutting she won’t stop I am worried I don’t want her to go the next step and take her whole life.

  22. When I first started… it was like a way to train myself to pain… and while I'm cutting I think of bad things I've done … so It's like a punishment. I don't really like the scars.. the idea of people may see them and question me about them freaks me out… but when the start to heal.. I want to do more.
    Thank you… I was really in need for this. I can hide them from my family and friends… but my mom when she comes back (my parents are divorced and she lives in another country) she asks me to try some clothes on in front of her or she enters the shower suddenly even when I'm inside (and I'm a guy so I'm expected to be Ok with this but I'm not… it pisses me off so much). Thanks Kati 💛

  23. I found out that my best friend was cutting herself; I’m really trying to help her cover them when we go to gym;

  24. I tend to self-harm when a cut heals completely. I tend to "want" to go deeper and see my blood running. It's oddly satisfying to watch.

  25. One of the teachers said that she noticed people have been self harming. We usually have a talk about it and she said we will. This time she might actually ask for us to show our arms. oof not in the mood for that.

  26. I personally cover the few cuts I have on my arms with concealer or foundation. I just cut in places no one looks in the first place. I cut my chest/stomach so I don't need to cover that up most of the time.

  27. Whenever my scars fade I miss them for some weird reason. I wish that others couldn’t see them and that I only could if that makes any sense

  28. I am watching this many years later. But I want to say that it might sound weird… But you should once try accept your scar.. I have self harm scars for 6 years now.. I used foundations and creams once.. my scar was so nasty it didn't recover…. So I just accepted it as a sign of my fight.. my journey through pain and suferings… It will remind me and let others know my true story… Now I don't use anything to cover them up… I just flaunt my scar!!!

  29. I cut myself when I was 16 because my best friend told me that her friend did it too. I wanted to know if there is any relief in doing it. Also I thought it makes me look kinda strong. Maybe it was also a cry for help. Now I am 22 years old and I am ashamed of the cuts. They are on my left arm. I don't like it when people point them out.

  30. I have a question for people wotb cutting scars, if I see them on let's say a friend of mine, do I ask them how they got it? And is so if they lie and I know it's because of cutting, do I tell them I know it's from cutting? I don't cut myself but I wanna support my friend… Don't know if she wants me to know or not :/

  31. The second and third intro question really spoke to me. I honestly didn’t know anyone else thought that way; I thought I was some kind of crazy. Just hearing someone say what was in my head almost word for word felt really validating to know that at least I’m not alone in this mentality, whether good or bad.

  32. In 20 years old. Havent cut since last year. But I crave it daily. I want the scars on my arm daily. Just the visual of the lines there forever. I know this isnt the right mindset. But idk how to stop it. Idk how to get rid of the constant urge to cut and have these scars.

  33. I'm covered in them if your still answering. Regrettably I attacked my face like a total fool but hey ho…I use bio oil. Decompression chambers although extremely expensive to use, are also amazing in cell regeneration. Hope you are well.

  34. Before I found your video just now I have been picking my head I pick cuts on my head and sometimes I pick my hair out but please let me know how do I stop?what do I do to help myself over 8 years of this please help thank u

  35. i am clean for 7 years but there are still marks of have to look close to see them but they are there.When people ask I sometimes say they are surgery scars

  36. I 100% want my scars gone. I know a bunch of people have way more noticable scars than me. But when I look at them I feel ashamed. And I'm afraid of people noticing.

  37. My older sister (16) doesn’t know what my scars are from and the other day she said I looked like a zebra…

  38. Hi ive been in and out of hospital with my self harm and it's turned more into an addiction because it makes me feel valid. Do you have any advice or what this actually means because i desperately want to not want to self harm. Thanks xxx

  39. i feel like a fucking edgy middle schooler watching this, reading comments of people say that they are proud of their scars. I’m not trying to be judgmental and i’m sorry but i hate looking at my scars. I don’t want anyone seeing them and i do not want to flaunt them bc it could cause others to relapse. Most of mine are easy to hide but the really thick dark raised ones are very noticeable when I am in swimsuits and I have no idea how to hide them. Feeling people stare at them makes me feel so uncomfortable and ashamed, i don’t know what i should do because i don’t think some will ever fade. I regret it so much. To the people reading this who are actively cutting please consider the long term pain you will experience from some short term relief.

  40. I'm a kid so I can't really just go out and buy something to cover them up. Even though my parents know about my self harm we still don't talk about it and I feel uncomfortable asking them to get it for me, plus we don't have much money so they probably wouldn't be able to get it anyway. But every time summer comes around I turn them down for doing anything that involves going outside or in the water because I don't want to have to wear short sleeves or a swimsuit because I don't want them to see my scars. So if anyone has anymore suggestions that could work I'd really appreciate it.

  41. I fully attempted and almost completed suicide by slicing down my wrist to get to the artery in several long and ugly strokes. Then I used to get embarrassed and mind read (caring what I thought people were thinking) about the gnarly scar which is easily spottable and obviously looked like an attempt (even from afar), in addition to several others on me elsewhere. Now I don’t even care to hide it. In fact, I’m proud of it only because it’s a reminder that I conquered hell before and can do it again. And to my frequent surprises, everyone who pointed it out in convo would do so with a certain reverence and admiration of my strength and so on, saying things like how they could tell I’m not shallow and have emotional intelligence. I was so shocked how many people (often whom I least expected) said/say they (and/or a loved one) have done the same thing or had similar low moments and thus immediately build rapport and friendship. So it’s like an ice breaker / social connection piece in a way! (I never flaunt it or bring it up for attention. Instead it’s like a tattoo for me now – A victory badge for winning my civil war).
    CAUTION: I am NOT suggesting scarring yourself like this ever. Attention is not why I did it, and I certainly regret it. Bleeding out SUCKS, not to mention how excruciating those cuts along the wrist are to cut. That artery is WAY further down in there than it seems, trust me, it’s takes effort and a stomach to push hard enough and torture yourself. The pain of sLowly pushing a needle in your skin feels like a joke in comparison to this. So stay away from suicide – especially this method.

  42. Tip/trick: Im still struggling to get out of the self harm cycle so if I give in and cut I’ll do it on my shoulder (between the clavicle area and up to where short sleeved shirts’s sleeves go) so in summer I can just wear short sleeves -haven’t figured out the pool/ beach part except kinda blurring it out with my hair and maybe a beachy coverup-dress

  43. As an autistic person I used to hit myself as a kid because I thought i was a bad kid and when I did something wrong or got really upset I’d punch myself in the legs lol

  44. I have skin picking disorder (excoriation), this is my form of cutting. I am doing better at not cutting my skin, however, I still do it. It gets worse when I am reminded of my past, or I get angry. some of the things that help me not pick is keeping my hands busy when I am in a depressive mood, angry and want to act out. It can even be as simple as holding a pen in my hand.

  45. i check my scars almost everyday, even though i dont cut in months… thank you for being so open and explaining so much about those issues!!! im loving your channel

  46. Calendula cream/tincture helps to heal wounds and bio oil helps to lighten scars and make them show less. Concealer and colour correction concealer can cover scars as well as foundation made to cover tattoos will be very effective

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