Barbara shares thoughts from the palliative care unit
What brought me here to the Palliative Centre was that I was diagnosed with cancer. I was angry. I wasn’t because of the cancer. It was because of something else. I was just angry, angry all the time. So once I found that inner peace, I was just a happy girl. I’ve had a great life. I’ve travelled and had a great job. You know, don’t be sad. It’s not worth it, so sorry. So what has happened to me is A-OK. It happens to people and you have to come to terms with it. And I did. Just be careful what you eat and make sure that you eat healthy. I wish I had done that. I ate what I wanted to. And I wish I hadn’t done that. I wish I had been more careful because then in my fifties and sixties I wouldn’t be in this mess. Don’t go out every night. Go out once or twice maybe a week or two. Have a couple of drinks with your friends. Otherwise, leave it at that. To overindulge in anything that you do, just stop it. Don’t worry about the crap. Because the crap is always going to be there. And one day it will go away. Be nice to the people. Being nice and helping other people makes me feel really really good. And, if you’re good to them, you’ll find out that they’re going to be good you. And that makes life a whole lot easier. Ya, I kind of wish I was nicer to my mother. Because I was such a mean person I wish I was nicer to her. She often said, you’re so hard on me. And she was right, I was hard on her. I don’t know why and I wish I knew but we made peace with each other when my mother passed away. But I wish I hadn’t been so mean, ya. She had a heart of gold. She would help anybody who needed help. And I looked at her and I thought, boy, that’s what I want to be like. That quality. I want to achieve that. But the more I hung around her, the more I thought, you know what? I can achieve that if I try. I just have to have patience. So that’s what I’m trying to do is trying to be like my mother. I think that we do go on to our lives. I think that we do carry on. And that we do become the people, or the animal, whatever you’re going to be, when we pass, absolutely. Ya, that’s something I believe in. That it will be something or someone that will watch over the people that we love. I said to my friends, I will be here to haunt you. But yes, I do believe that you carry on. Most definitely. Just an average person wondering, what am I going to do now? What am I supposed to do? You’ll know what to do, along with your friends, you will know what to do. It’s going to be darn hard, but you’ll know what to do. It will come to you, believe me.